Overflow Box

[cross_swords]

Comments

[vacantexpression]

[ He lets Seifer have the last word. If it comes down to it, Squall will knock on the man's door himself the morning of the exam. He doesn't realize yet that it'll result in a duel where all his good intentions are challenged with a blade's edge. For now, he acquiesces and reclaims Revolver.

It's his room but he nods to Seifer to lead the way out of it, following with a furrow in his brows and the knowledge that anyone who catches them leaving together are sure to be drawing their own conclusions. ]

[cross_swords]

[Of course he can knock on the door. But he can't force Seifer into clothes. And, of course, there was that whole fate they would resign themselves to.]

Alright, let's go see if we can't get you topped up, Squally.

[Because that was the goal. TO make sure Squall was survivable going into his exams.]

[vacantexpression]

[ They're both damnably stubborn. It's part of why this rivalry works. But it's also created its fair share of blockades. Squall will deal with whatever obstacles Seifer throws in his way the morning of, and lose, but he doesn't know that yet. For now, the promise of consideration is enough.

The hall is a little more populated when they slip back into it but he does his best to ignore any whispers or glances shot in their direction. ]

How are you spending the days leading up to the exam?

[ It's not small talk. Squall doesn't do small talk, but he does want to know where he can squeeze himself into Seifer's day to day for greater preparation. Spell mining is a start but he knows they could, and should, be doing more. Rest is important, yes, but strategy even more so. ]

[cross_swords]

DC stuff. Cadets get more fussy and start more shit leading up to an exam.

[He already hit all of his prerequisites of course.]

And resting. Of course. I'm ready to go.

[vacantexpression]

[ The dedication is almost admirable. Squall knows there's no love for the enforcement of Garden's rules as adjudicated by the Disciplinary Committee, but to maintain public perception right to the possible end is probably the most Seifer Almasy thing he can think of. ]

Fujin and Raijin aren't taking the exam this year?

[ It stands to reason that if they are, the DC could be its own squad. Wise as it would split up the two gunbladers but unfortunate since Seifer is the only other cadet Squall feels remotely comfortable trusting. ]

[cross_swords]

Of course they aren't. Didn't I tell you? They have their own dreams. And it's not Garden.

[Fujin and Raijin were not meant for SeeD and they knew it. There was no shame in that. Some people figured that out earlier than others.]

[vacantexpression]

[ It's a little shocking to Squall that in light of all this, Seifer still wants to be a SeeD. With Fuijin and Raijin, they could easily clean up as mercenaries outside of the program's stranglehold. Of course that kind of competition might make some enemies but...Seifer has never had a problem with giving someone a reason to dislike him.

He chews on the thought with a considering hum. ] It's strange to think of you all going separate ways.

[ But that's just life, isn't it? It's why Squall's so damn determined to see that Seifer passes. He's not ready to entertain what the absence of him will do. The hole it will leave. This was exactly why he tried not to get close to anyone. ]

[cross_swords]

I mean, Raijin has been thinking of going to culinary school.

[So yeah, they probably weren't going to be mercenary competition for anyone.]

Like I said, we have different dreams.

[vacantexpression]

[ Squall's brows go up at that. Culinary school? How long had Seifer been contending with that possible split between his posse and what that would mean for him? No wonder the desire to cling to Garden is so prevalent. ]

Fujin too?

[ She's the most loyal of the two. He's never seen anyone get away with a snide or unkind remark about Seifer when she's around. ]

[cross_swords]

[A year. A whole year to consider the ways his friends would handle themselves when he became a SeeD. SeeDs often ended up all across the world for an extended period of time. They shouldn't wait for him at that point. And they could come back to Balamb after they started on the paths of their dreams to set it up.]

Yeah. Her family, she lost them in a car accident if you didn't know. They ran a dojo in Dollet. She wants to rebuild that legacy. Garden's helping her.

[Sure she's got a weapon too, but she has goals.]

[vacantexpression]

[ It doesn't make sense to Squall that Seifer can know these intimate things about Raijin and Fujin and still be willing to let them go. That they can be so close and yet all of them are willing to go their separate ways.

Why bother getting close to anyone at all? ] She'll make an excellent sensei.

[ He goes quiet as his mind runs through all the people who have come and gone from Seifer's life. Is that why he's so eager to make an impression on everyone he meets? To maximize the possibility of finding someone who wants to stay?

Squall shoves down the ache of not being enough to fill that hole and tells himself he doesn't want the position anyway. That they're water and oil and will never properly mix. ]

[cross_swords]

[Of course he's not WILLING to let them go. Don't be an idiot, Squall. He's just not the sort of person to hold them back from their dreams.]

She would

[He sounds so damn proud. These people were important to him. And since they weren't SeeD track, they had less GF use. And that meant they would remember him. They all agreed to meet up again anyway.]

[vacantexpression]

[ It's hard to imagine forging relationships with other people, let alone saying goodbye to them. Why bother living with that hole where they used to be? There's a person-sized ache in him that's taught him that. Even if he can't remember them, he knows they're gone. That they left him.

That Seifer will have two of his own soon makes him wonder how he can be so wistful about it. How he can sound so proud of Fujin even as she plans to leave him.

Will Seifer leave behind a hole in him too? Is it worth asking about his dream and risking what it means to know he won't be apart of it? Squall's grip on Revolver tightens as he goes quiet. ]

[cross_swords]

[Some people can ignore the hole. Some people are gnawed at by it so constantly that they are left with no choice but to feed it. So they don't start clawing at the world in hopes of tearing it apart to fill the gap.]

If I make SeeD, they'll be here in time for me to still have them.

[vacantexpression]

[ Sometimes people ignore the hole too, but that just allows it to grow. Squall has deliberately not looked at his own but it has its own shadow now and he can feel its lonely chill whenever he stands in it. ]

When you make SeeD.

[ It's a gentle correction and it's just as much for Squall as it is for Seifer. ]

[cross_swords]

[Seifer sighs.]

Maybe just focus on you getting in. I can handle myself.

[Which is absolutely not accurate.]

[vacantexpression]

[ There's a quiet scoff at that. From Squall, it's almost akin to a smile. ]

I've handled you for years. You can relieve me of that duty when you're in a position to give the order.

[ It's a challenge. All the best ways to motivate Seifer usually are. ]

[cross_swords]

[See, if they were friends, Seifer could make a joke about how he was certain he'd notice being handled by Squall. But as it is he just smirks.]

You never respected your elders, have you. You'd ignore my orders if I gave it to you. But I'm going to find a way to make you listen some day, Squall.

[vacantexpression]

[ Squall doesn't know how much longer those smirks will be his to enjoy but right now, it's just them, and this moment belongs to no one else. ]

You already know the way.

[ If they were friends, Squall would salute, maybe smile. Maybe he'd even flip Seifer off for a laugh. Friends however are a commodity he's never had the emotional currency for. Instead, they're this. And Squall forces himself to be content despite the hungry void in him that yearns for more. ]

[cross_swords]

No. I really don't. You barely listen to anyone.

[And certainly never to Seifer, not so much as he would like. But that fire, that fight that only he saw... He did like that too.

They were nearing the gate now and Seifer sighed.]

You ready for this?

[vacantexpression]

[ The eyeroll is there to greet Seifer's assessment. They're both stubborn but Squall would argue he's the most amenable to taking orders. ]

I listen just fine to the people I respect...If you were my commander...

[ Squall doesn't bother finishing the sentence. Mostly because it's hard for him to embroil himself in any more sincerity. Better to focus on the fights ahead and so he nods as they approach the gate. There's no better time than now. ]

[cross_swords]

[Seifer scoffs.]

Maybe one day you'll get to prove it. But who knows if that day will come. Probably won't if you don't pass. So hop to it. You want some fire spells for backup?

[vacantexpression]

After you, [ Squall says of passing, a glint in his eyes. Challenging each other is where they excel, after all. He hesitates however at the offer for fire magic. Shiva isn't a fan and he can feel her physically recoil from him whenever he uses it. However he knows better than to shirk potential advantages.

It takes a moment before Squall extends his hand. ]

How much can you spare?

[cross_swords]

Enough.

[The extended hand meets Seifer's in the briefest of touches. With it trickles over another fifteen fire spells for Squall to stock.]

You have elemental attack junction worked up on the Ice Queen yet? Safer way to use fire damage without upsetting her as much. I do the same with ice to appease Ifrit.

[vacantexpression]

[ Their touches are always perfunctory and practical things. Swapping magic, checking each other for injury, a hand to pull the other off the ground. It's always too brief, but Squall knows it's by design. A habit after all the times he shirked the opportunity for casual affection growing up. At least...that's what he thinks is the reason. Memories of their earlier years at Garden are hazy and everything before then is a wash of watercolors dripping off the canvas.

He knows one thing though and that's that Seifer has been a constant through all of it. It makes his fingers twitch as he pulls his hand back, chasing the phantom touch. Squall hums in consideration and feels out the connection he has with Shiva. The opportunity to junction an elemental attack is there but it's something he's only ever dared to try with ice magic for the same reason he's never tried to chase Seifer's actual touch and not just its ghost. He's terrified she'll leave him. ] What's he like?

[ As far as he's been able to tell, GFs have their own preferences and personalities. Even just inquiring about Ifrit makes his chest feel like there's an icy grip on his heart but it thaws a little as he increases the percentage of fire for his elemental attack. It's a tenuous agreement, but it seems to hold. ]