Overflow Box

[cross_swords]

Comments

[cross_swords]

[A year. A whole year to consider the ways his friends would handle themselves when he became a SeeD. SeeDs often ended up all across the world for an extended period of time. They shouldn't wait for him at that point. And they could come back to Balamb after they started on the paths of their dreams to set it up.]

Yeah. Her family, she lost them in a car accident if you didn't know. They ran a dojo in Dollet. She wants to rebuild that legacy. Garden's helping her.

[Sure she's got a weapon too, but she has goals.]

[vacantexpression]

[ It doesn't make sense to Squall that Seifer can know these intimate things about Raijin and Fujin and still be willing to let them go. That they can be so close and yet all of them are willing to go their separate ways.

Why bother getting close to anyone at all? ] She'll make an excellent sensei.

[ He goes quiet as his mind runs through all the people who have come and gone from Seifer's life. Is that why he's so eager to make an impression on everyone he meets? To maximize the possibility of finding someone who wants to stay?

Squall shoves down the ache of not being enough to fill that hole and tells himself he doesn't want the position anyway. That they're water and oil and will never properly mix. ]

[cross_swords]

[Of course he's not WILLING to let them go. Don't be an idiot, Squall. He's just not the sort of person to hold them back from their dreams.]

She would

[He sounds so damn proud. These people were important to him. And since they weren't SeeD track, they had less GF use. And that meant they would remember him. They all agreed to meet up again anyway.]

[vacantexpression]

[ It's hard to imagine forging relationships with other people, let alone saying goodbye to them. Why bother living with that hole where they used to be? There's a person-sized ache in him that's taught him that. Even if he can't remember them, he knows they're gone. That they left him.

That Seifer will have two of his own soon makes him wonder how he can be so wistful about it. How he can sound so proud of Fujin even as she plans to leave him.

Will Seifer leave behind a hole in him too? Is it worth asking about his dream and risking what it means to know he won't be apart of it? Squall's grip on Revolver tightens as he goes quiet. ]

[cross_swords]

[Some people can ignore the hole. Some people are gnawed at by it so constantly that they are left with no choice but to feed it. So they don't start clawing at the world in hopes of tearing it apart to fill the gap.]

If I make SeeD, they'll be here in time for me to still have them.

[vacantexpression]

[ Sometimes people ignore the hole too, but that just allows it to grow. Squall has deliberately not looked at his own but it has its own shadow now and he can feel its lonely chill whenever he stands in it. ]

When you make SeeD.

[ It's a gentle correction and it's just as much for Squall as it is for Seifer. ]

[cross_swords]

[Seifer sighs.]

Maybe just focus on you getting in. I can handle myself.

[Which is absolutely not accurate.]

[vacantexpression]

[ There's a quiet scoff at that. From Squall, it's almost akin to a smile. ]

I've handled you for years. You can relieve me of that duty when you're in a position to give the order.

[ It's a challenge. All the best ways to motivate Seifer usually are. ]

[cross_swords]

[See, if they were friends, Seifer could make a joke about how he was certain he'd notice being handled by Squall. But as it is he just smirks.]

You never respected your elders, have you. You'd ignore my orders if I gave it to you. But I'm going to find a way to make you listen some day, Squall.

[vacantexpression]

[ Squall doesn't know how much longer those smirks will be his to enjoy but right now, it's just them, and this moment belongs to no one else. ]

You already know the way.

[ If they were friends, Squall would salute, maybe smile. Maybe he'd even flip Seifer off for a laugh. Friends however are a commodity he's never had the emotional currency for. Instead, they're this. And Squall forces himself to be content despite the hungry void in him that yearns for more. ]

[cross_swords]

No. I really don't. You barely listen to anyone.

[And certainly never to Seifer, not so much as he would like. But that fire, that fight that only he saw... He did like that too.

They were nearing the gate now and Seifer sighed.]

You ready for this?

[vacantexpression]

[ The eyeroll is there to greet Seifer's assessment. They're both stubborn but Squall would argue he's the most amenable to taking orders. ]

I listen just fine to the people I respect...If you were my commander...

[ Squall doesn't bother finishing the sentence. Mostly because it's hard for him to embroil himself in any more sincerity. Better to focus on the fights ahead and so he nods as they approach the gate. There's no better time than now. ]

[cross_swords]

[Seifer scoffs.]

Maybe one day you'll get to prove it. But who knows if that day will come. Probably won't if you don't pass. So hop to it. You want some fire spells for backup?

[vacantexpression]

After you, [ Squall says of passing, a glint in his eyes. Challenging each other is where they excel, after all. He hesitates however at the offer for fire magic. Shiva isn't a fan and he can feel her physically recoil from him whenever he uses it. However he knows better than to shirk potential advantages.

It takes a moment before Squall extends his hand. ]

How much can you spare?

[cross_swords]

Enough.

[The extended hand meets Seifer's in the briefest of touches. With it trickles over another fifteen fire spells for Squall to stock.]

You have elemental attack junction worked up on the Ice Queen yet? Safer way to use fire damage without upsetting her as much. I do the same with ice to appease Ifrit.

[vacantexpression]

[ Their touches are always perfunctory and practical things. Swapping magic, checking each other for injury, a hand to pull the other off the ground. It's always too brief, but Squall knows it's by design. A habit after all the times he shirked the opportunity for casual affection growing up. At least...that's what he thinks is the reason. Memories of their earlier years at Garden are hazy and everything before then is a wash of watercolors dripping off the canvas.

He knows one thing though and that's that Seifer has been a constant through all of it. It makes his fingers twitch as he pulls his hand back, chasing the phantom touch. Squall hums in consideration and feels out the connection he has with Shiva. The opportunity to junction an elemental attack is there but it's something he's only ever dared to try with ice magic for the same reason he's never tried to chase Seifer's actual touch and not just its ghost. He's terrified she'll leave him. ] What's he like?

[ As far as he's been able to tell, GFs have their own preferences and personalities. Even just inquiring about Ifrit makes his chest feel like there's an icy grip on his heart but it thaws a little as he increases the percentage of fire for his elemental attack. It's a tenuous agreement, but it seems to hold. ]

[cross_swords]

[Now there's a question that Seifer never expected to hear from Squall. Or anyone really. A lot of people in the Garden were sort of dismissive of the idea of the GFs having personalities. So he didn't know what to do when he was being so clearly questioned about it. which means he stops, thinks. Really considers.]

Proud. Arrogant. But below all of that, he's strong and protective. Fierce. Like he'd smash through a city to protect you. It's... nice.

[vacantexpression]

[ Theorizing about GFs beyond their utility isn't something he's prone to and not just because he'd rather tell someone to go talk to a wall than share his thoughts out loud. Seifer however has always been a safe place to debate strategy or tactics. His brow arches, a quiet intrigue in the gesture, as he absorbs this information. Ifrit is an inevitability. The more he can know about him before he sets off to the Fire Cavern, the more equipped he'll be challenge him.

The deeper connection shouldn't be surprising, he shares his own with Shiva after all, but when it's shared, he can't help but hold onto the last part. They've been without any real parental oversight most of their lives. Protection hasn't exactly been a common theme for them and he never thought to consider that it might be something either of them could long for. Why now is he learning about these deeper parts of Seifer?

No...maybe it's not the first time but there are memories that have been lost to the fog of Shiva's touch. Have they had this conversation before? Or one similar to it?

Squall's mouth firms into a tight line before he cants his head to invite more speculation. ]

Do you think they take on parts of our personalities?

[ He sees the throughlines between Ifrit and Seifer, just like he sees them between himself and Shiva. ]

[cross_swords]

[Of course he would long for protection. This was not the sort of thing that he would ever get to experience in his life. So he didn't think he'd beg for it. Not now, not ever. But Ifrit, perhaps he sensed that need and wanted to provide it. Then again...]

He was sort of like that when I found him. Taunting me, annoyed that I was using Shiva against him, things like that. But I know that Shiva doesn't, and Quetzalcoatl don't get like that either. So I think it's just who he is.

[vacantexpression]

[ There is some small glimmer of satisfaction that runs through him at the mention of Ifrit being confronted by Shiva. It reminds him of snow being shaken mischievously from a branch to tumble down onto someone below it though he can't recall ever having done something like that. ]

Interesting...She is, by the way. Protective. In her own way.

[ In the way Squall can count on her to fog over the memories of pain and abandonment. Or how she'll numb his wounds for him so he can push himself through injury and chase the victory that's on the other side of it. ] I think she gets jealous though.

[ A trait they share but that Squall would never own up to. That would be entirely too much to unpack and he'd first have to acknowledge the feeling in order to dissect it. ] Does Ifrit care at all if you switch between him and the others?

[cross_swords]

Ifrit isn't that jealous, though he doesn't like the idea of sharing with Shiva. Specifically her. He's not into the idea of me using ice either.

[But it wasn't like he had another one other than Shiva and Quez, and since he didn't use either of them that much, well, it didn't matter to him or Ifrit. They knew where his attention would be. Where his faith laid.]

I've had him for enough years that we've adjusted to each other I think.

[vacantexpression]

Fire and ice. [ Squall surmises with a nod. It makes sense, but he knows Shiva is slower to respond to him when he has Quezacotl junctioned. He can't even imagine what she'll be like when he finally summons Ifrit. It's partly why he's taken so long to venture into the Fire Cavern. He has so few things he clings to...to lose even one...

A deep breath soothes the worry from him. The gentle whip of wind as they walk helps too and Squall shifts the weight of Revolver onto his shoulder, testing the mobility of the newly healed muscle. ]

More than adjusted. I can feel traces of him in your magic. Like a signature or a brand.

[ Paramagic isn't typically something they shy away from talking about–anything that can give them a leg up is often the only time Squall is a willing participant of conversation–however the way they speak about it now feels...almost intimate. A little too familiar. Squall waves it off with a flick of his wrist as if to dismiss further commentary. ]

Just something I noticed.

[cross_swords]

[He'd be fine with picking Ifrit up. Really Ifrit's responsiveness only seemed to slip when he cast ice spells and when he summoned Shiva, the former slowing it more than an individual use of the latter. But it all built up over time. And using more fire and Ifrit more, built it back up. It was like adding weights to a scale.

But of course, he wasn't the brainiac in all of this, and didn't always ace the theory classes.]


Can't say I've noticed anything like that before. Maybe you just want to feel me close to you.


[He smirks like he's found something wonderful out there, but he knows he hasn't. Seifer wouldn't care that much.]

[vacantexpression]

[ There's no magic this time to explain why Squall goes hot through his collar. The burn is all his own and the sudden heat of it catches him off guard as he quickly tries to distract from the color in his cheeks by rolling his eyes and flipping Seifer off. ]

I hope that Esuna feels like a cold shower.

You think this might be a good time for us to wrap?

[cross_swords]

[There we go. A reaction. And a less weird interaction. He laughs, loudly, happily. Because that's just how it is with them.]

I promise it doesn't. More like ants all over your skin. At least it is for me.