[ Their touches are always perfunctory and practical things. Swapping magic, checking each other for injury, a hand to pull the other off the ground. It's always too brief, but Squall knows it's by design. A habit after all the times he shirked the opportunity for casual affection growing up. At least...that's what he thinks is the reason. Memories of their earlier years at Garden are hazy and everything before then is a wash of watercolors dripping off the canvas.
He knows one thing though and that's that Seifer has been a constant through all of it. It makes his fingers twitch as he pulls his hand back, chasing the phantom touch. Squall hums in consideration and feels out the connection he has with Shiva. The opportunity to junction an elemental attack is there but it's something he's only ever dared to try with ice magic for the same reason he's never tried to chase Seifer's actual touch and not just its ghost. He's terrified she'll leave him. ] What's he like?
[ As far as he's been able to tell, GFs have their own preferences and personalities. Even just inquiring about Ifrit makes his chest feel like there's an icy grip on his heart but it thaws a little as he increases the percentage of fire for his elemental attack. It's a tenuous agreement, but it seems to hold. ]
[Now there's a question that Seifer never expected to hear from Squall. Or anyone really. A lot of people in the Garden were sort of dismissive of the idea of the GFs having personalities. So he didn't know what to do when he was being so clearly questioned about it. which means he stops, thinks. Really considers.]
Proud. Arrogant. But below all of that, he's strong and protective. Fierce. Like he'd smash through a city to protect you. It's... nice.
[ Theorizing about GFs beyond their utility isn't something he's prone to and not just because he'd rather tell someone to go talk to a wall than share his thoughts out loud. Seifer however has always been a safe place to debate strategy or tactics. His brow arches, a quiet intrigue in the gesture, as he absorbs this information. Ifrit is an inevitability. The more he can know about him before he sets off to the Fire Cavern, the more equipped he'll be challenge him.
The deeper connection shouldn't be surprising, he shares his own with Shiva after all, but when it's shared, he can't help but hold onto the last part. They've been without any real parental oversight most of their lives. Protection hasn't exactly been a common theme for them and he never thought to consider that it might be something either of them could long for. Why now is he learning about these deeper parts of Seifer?
No...maybe it's not the first time but there are memories that have been lost to the fog of Shiva's touch. Have they had this conversation before? Or one similar to it?
Squall's mouth firms into a tight line before he cants his head to invite more speculation. ]
Do you think they take on parts of our personalities?
[ He sees the throughlines between Ifrit and Seifer, just like he sees them between himself and Shiva. ]
[Of course he would long for protection. This was not the sort of thing that he would ever get to experience in his life. So he didn't think he'd beg for it. Not now, not ever. But Ifrit, perhaps he sensed that need and wanted to provide it. Then again...]
He was sort of like that when I found him. Taunting me, annoyed that I was using Shiva against him, things like that. But I know that Shiva doesn't, and Quetzalcoatl don't get like that either. So I think it's just who he is.
[ There is some small glimmer of satisfaction that runs through him at the mention of Ifrit being confronted by Shiva. It reminds him of snow being shaken mischievously from a branch to tumble down onto someone below it though he can't recall ever having done something like that. ]
Interesting...She is, by the way. Protective. In her own way.
[ In the way Squall can count on her to fog over the memories of pain and abandonment. Or how she'll numb his wounds for him so he can push himself through injury and chase the victory that's on the other side of it. ] I think she gets jealous though.
[ A trait they share but that Squall would never own up to. That would be entirely too much to unpack and he'd first have to acknowledge the feeling in order to dissect it. ] Does Ifrit care at all if you switch between him and the others?
Ifrit isn't that jealous, though he doesn't like the idea of sharing with Shiva. Specifically her. He's not into the idea of me using ice either.
[But it wasn't like he had another one other than Shiva and Quez, and since he didn't use either of them that much, well, it didn't matter to him or Ifrit. They knew where his attention would be. Where his faith laid.]
I've had him for enough years that we've adjusted to each other I think.
Fire and ice. [ Squall surmises with a nod. It makes sense, but he knows Shiva is slower to respond to him when he has Quezacotl junctioned. He can't even imagine what she'll be like when he finally summons Ifrit. It's partly why he's taken so long to venture into the Fire Cavern. He has so few things he clings to...to lose even one...
A deep breath soothes the worry from him. The gentle whip of wind as they walk helps too and Squall shifts the weight of Revolver onto his shoulder, testing the mobility of the newly healed muscle. ]
More than adjusted. I can feel traces of him in your magic. Like a signature or a brand.
[ Paramagic isn't typically something they shy away from talking about–anything that can give them a leg up is often the only time Squall is a willing participant of conversation–however the way they speak about it now feels...almost intimate. A little too familiar. Squall waves it off with a flick of his wrist as if to dismiss further commentary. ]
[He'd be fine with picking Ifrit up. Really Ifrit's responsiveness only seemed to slip when he cast ice spells and when he summoned Shiva, the former slowing it more than an individual use of the latter. But it all built up over time. And using more fire and Ifrit more, built it back up. It was like adding weights to a scale.
But of course, he wasn't the brainiac in all of this, and didn't always ace the theory classes.]
Can't say I've noticed anything like that before. Maybe you just want to feel me close to you.
[He smirks like he's found something wonderful out there, but he knows he hasn't. Seifer wouldn't care that much.]
[ There's no magic this time to explain why Squall goes hot through his collar. The burn is all his own and the sudden heat of it catches him off guard as he quickly tries to distract from the color in his cheeks by rolling his eyes and flipping Seifer off. ]
I hope that Esuna feels like a cold shower.
You think this might be a good time for us to wrap?
[ The bark of laughter earns a huff of annoyance from Squall, but that's just par for the course of their usual interactions. If he has a retort it gets lost under the shriek of a nearby monster and honestly, it's preferable to any other conversation.
If he knows how to do anything, it's fight, and after the morning's duel, he's itching for a win. ]
[Time. It's a thing that gives distance from pain. It's a thing that gives clarity to emotions. It's a thing that robs memories to those who use Paramagic. Apparently it's a thing that can be looped and compressed.
Mostly it's a thing that SeeD Nida Nomura pointedly had more of remaining on his mandatory vacation. There weren't many members of SeeD, the Faculty, and the Administration staff that delayed taking their mandatory vacation time for long enough for a notification to come across the SeeD Commander's desk. Most of them had even managed to obey the first time they got called into Commander Leonhart's office and were told they needed to take a break. Apparently SeeD Nomura was better at 'forgetting' or letting something else urgent come up. Because in the year and a half since the end of what some were calling the Last Sorceress War (how presumptive), he had only just gone out to obey vacation requirements.
He'd left four days ago. He wasn't supposed to be back for almost a month because of the back vacation time.
That probably explained why after he had knocked at the door and been summoned into the office of the SeeD Commander he looked sheepish. More than that, when he came in, he was in full uniform (a no-no on vacations) and immediately saluted before standing at attention.
Clearly his arrival, abnormal as it was, was in an official capacity. And because of that, the quiet SeeD stood there, silent, waiting to be acknowledged by his superior.]
[ Time. The span of it, the length of it, the ever-winding tick-tock of it, is a gnawing thing. After surviving Time Compression, Squall thinks he might be sick from it the way a child can get sick off of too much candy. He's aware of its circular nature now. Time is not a flat line to race across, it is a wheel that once set into motion will rotate towards infinity, driven ever onwards by an unavoidable series of events.
He's never been one to believe in Fate so it's hard to come to terms with the fact that he sealed his own the second he told Matron about SeeD. A pre-determined life that affected not just himself, but every other member of their little orphanage gang. He did this to them and it's a shameful secret he's kept lodged in the back of his throat ever since Rinoa pulled him out of Time Compression.
Sometimes he goes into cold sweats thinking he's still trapped. Experiencing his life as it would one day be but not really living it. It's a miserable form of PTSD. He would much rather flinch at fireworks than be terrified of silence.
There are records that play in his office now whenever he's alone. It helps him keep track of Time. Time, proper noun. Like it's its own entity. A phantasmal force he's haunted by. The scratch of the record player and the crooning of instruments allows him to feel the flow of time moving forward. It's rare to find him sitting in complete silence these days, but as the SeeD Commander no one gives him too much trouble about that. ]
SeeD Nida. You're in uniform.
[ His gaze cuts from the paperwork in front of him to the figure of Nida standing in his office. He keeps track of everyone's Time. It's oddly cathartic to chart progress in days and hours, weeks, and years. Nida hasn't even been gone long enough to consider the latter two. He sighs before rising from his desk and giving a half measured salute so that Nida can be at ease. ]
And on Garden property.
[ The look he fixes Nida with is a withering one. It's the look that usually has people obeying his orders the first time around. A year and a half of being a full time Commander has allowed him to settle into his position with all the grace of a jungle cat in a circus. He knows which hoops to jump through and how to avoid the whip crack, but there's still danger in the way he moves, even when doing something as innocuous as turning down a record player. ]
If I ask you why or to report in, I'll be violating your vacation ordinance so let's skip the small talk so you can volunteer that information instead.
[The look is enough to have Nida flinching a little as he moves into a more relaxed stance. He isn't one of what he's heard SeeD Tilmitt refer to as 'the Orphanage Gang'. Doesn't matter that he graduated with some of them, that he's been here almost as long as some of them and longer than others. Measuring up to them was never possible. And feeling confident in front of Squall was... a lot harder. For a lot of reasons.
Honestly, the only thing that he's really had to keep him from dodging one order he didn't want for a while was the fact that he was still a SeeD. Was still stubborn. And was an intel specialist SeeD for all that he'd ended up as the Garden's pilot. It meant he had spent a lot of time looking for loopholes in how things were worded. Including the one that brought him here despite a lot of VERY direct ordering.
Still, the careful word choice from Squall does earn a small smile from the guy. One that says he appreciates the fact that Squall saw through the angle he'd taken and found a way to counter it. A smile that says 'well played'. One that Xu, were she on friendlier terms with her SeeD Commander, would say was rarely given and she owed him a drink for managing it.]
There's a standing order, sir. One that is on the books as overriding any non-priority orders. Given where I was there was no service with the experimental Esthari Long Range Transmission Device, and sir someone needs to tell President Loire to tell his dev teams to give these things a name that isn't a mouthful, and I know there are no SeeDs currently running operations in Timber, the only option was to return in person to convey the information.
[Not, of course, that Nida should know that no SeeDs were currently deployed to Timber. It was one of those 'need to know' things on certain operations so even SeeDs in on gossip might not always know. But Nida says it with absolute certainty.
Granted, intel trained operatives could get up to foolish things when bored.
As for the 'Standing Order', there were a few of those. But only one with the parameters Nida was implying. An order regarding a certain wayward former cadet.]
Edited (trying to find a better way to make bracket style work with my eyes) 2024-11-10 06:14 (UTC)
[ Whether they wanted to be or not, Squall and his friends (he calls them that now and it never stops feeling strange) have become war heroes. It's a grotesque title he shirks whenever possible and one that feels especially bitter in the face of more qualified SeeDs who easily could have stepped into his shoes and done the job just as credibly. In fact, if it were Nida who had gone up against Ultimecia, chances were that he would have done a much better job of leaving blueprints for success. Instead, Matron got him.
The smile almost loosens one from Squall, but he tips his head instead in a conciliatory manner. Like recognizing like. Except even after everything, Squall still isn't prone to rambling, or being a gracious listener to rambling, but Nida led with a trump card that has him going stiff. He doesn't hear half of what's being said as sound cuts out, giving way to a ringing in his ears. There hasn't been any movement on that particular standing order since he'd given it. The one that instructs anyone with intel regarding the whereabouts of former sorceress knight Seifer Almasy to report directly to him.
Just hearing it said aloud is enough to make Squall feel like the floor has dropped out from under him. It takes him a moment to recover and he catches the tail end of what else Nida has said, but can't bring himself to pry about how he has half the information he does. All that matters is the standing order.
The record player that had previously been turned down is cranked up a few decibels louder than it had been before Nida joined him. Squall's movements take him to his door next, locking it. It's only when he's standing directly in front of Nida with their eyes locked that he finally says: ]
[Seems like Nida's won the battle of being off on vacation. Because now he's clearly on duty again. He throws another, crisp salute, and immediately slides into the more casual, relaxed stance he was more prone to when working. Like there was something about being here, about being on duty, that made him feel better.
Honestly, they eventually needed to hire a therapist for this place, given how many SeeDs had their own special neuroses. Squall was clearly caught up in some of his own right now, but Nida was too. In fact, he was flopping down in a chair without being asked to do it and looking up at Squall.]
I'm guessing you probably don't have all the personnel files memorized. Going to skip what I can but there's some needed context, especially since our history instruction doesn't cover it. The Timber region used to have a lot of small holdings and villages near it. When Galbadia started moving on the region, most of the people living in those places withdrew to Timber in hopes of safety. Very few people moved back out to where they were from, mostly because Galbadia didn't want us out of their sight.
Some of those holdings survived, deeper in the parts of the forest that didn't get burned or otherwise damaged. When I was out hiking in the woods out there I neared one of those and heard noises. I proceeded to investigate as carefully as I could, given no one lingers out in those places anymore. Caught sight of a man from behind. Tall, blonde hair, dark blue vest accented with white around the edges. Once I determined who it was, I started back to Timber to get a train.
[There are things being left out, clearly. Details that can be supplied in a full report if Squall really wants them. Oral and written. In triplicate. By hand. Pretty please? But Nida can recognize the intensity in the other man, and he intended to answer it in the best way he could.]
I can't imagine he's out there, chopping wood, if he doesn't intend to stay. And I know I'm good enough to have gotten out of there without him noticing me. I wasn't there long enough and I am good through woods. That considered, I think he's probably looking to stay there a while.
All of that overdue vacation time and Squall has just contributed to its continued delay. He can't blame Nida. The only reason why Squall's able to clean out his mandatory vacation hours is because he logs them whenever he's doing non-Garden affiliated business. Interviews or peacekeeping work with Rinoa, technology screenings with President Loire (good luck getting him to call the guy dad), even afternoon lunch dates with Ellone. All of it gets flagged as personal time so he doesn't have to own up to the policies he helps enforce.
Maybe he'll share this trick with Nida once his head stops buzzing with all of the loaded potential his standing order possesses.
As Nida makes himself comfortable, Squall takes a moment to suck in a breath and remember the plan he promised to put in motion should information about Seifer ever make it onto his desk. The whole world wanted a scapegoat for the war once it ended. With Edea pardoned, it hardly left anyone else to blame except Seifer. That he went into hiding is shocking. Not because he thinks Seifer wants to be punished but because Seifer was never one to buck the opportunity for the spotlight.
Squall's grateful to see that's changed, just not at the expense of present circumstances. He has a plan though. He just has to focus on that and not the annoyance bubbling up in him over the fact that Seifer's idea of laying low is to do it in the most recognizable outfit after Squall's bomber. Fucking idiot. Unless...No. Squall shakes the thought. Why would Seifer want to be found?
Unless, unless, unless.
"I'll need a full report of the surrounding area and a detailed map of where he was last seen. If you tailed him, I want the route." The orders come unbidden, flowing out of him and a little too readily received if Nida's posture is anything to go off of. Squall considers him a moment, then adds, "This will remain classified for the time being. If this information gets out in any capacity, someone less talented than you in infiltration is bound to screw this up for us."
It's a compliment. Squall's still not good at giving them even after all this time being a leader, but he's learned how to dole them out when they're due.
Not everyone can cheat their 'off time' the same way Squall can. It's really impressive. And it's also got a lot to do with Squall's power over many things paperwork. Sometimes that's an edge to have. Problem was, it wasn't like Nida had much to do outside of Garden. Except for a thing he'd been avoiding, but that wasn't here or there.
Or well, maybe it was there in the form of 'in a forest outside of Timber'.
"I can get you the maps you need, but I should warn you I didn't spend time tailing him. No way Seifer wouldn't have recognized me, even after all this time. Not without memory issues larger than that of an active duty SeeD."
As for the compliment, Nida manages to quash the urge to smile. Instead he manages a curt nod that is more in line with what should be expected in his position.
"Detailed maps and reports are going to take several hours. Should I just take a nearby office to get started, sir?"
It's impossible not to clock the remark about being recognized. Squall knows Nida because they survived a war together in close proximity, but Seifer? His brows furrow as he tries to place a possible connection. Yes, they took the SeeD exam together but would that be enough to identify someone while they weren't in uniform? A strange coil of jealousy wrenches his gut; strange only because he can identify the feeling and be unsettled by it.
The possibility of Nida and Seifer being familiar is a question he can't bring himself to ask. It's none of his business. And yet, for a moment, Squall is silent as he looks the SeeD over, appraising him with a subtle narrowing of his eyes. If they hadn't both picked gunblades...Would Nida have been Seifer's rival instead? Was that one more thing Squall potentially got in the way of? It's hard to look at his successes now and not see the patterns of favoritism. To think he'd foolishly believed he'd earned all of his rank and title when maybe...
That's not important right now.
Squall sucks in a deep breath and shakes his head. "No. Use mine."
As Squall rounds the desk, he drops into a crouch to reach under it. There are a series of switches and plugs which he activates and engages. When he rises and offers his chair, Squall notes, "This system is officially off-network. Any reports you generate will remain sealed from all other personnel until they've been declassified."
Again, Squall draws a breath, fingers digging into the bridge of his nose before rubbing up the length of his scar. He has a few hours then. A few hours to get everything he needs sorted. Straightening, he nods down at Nida. "Your discretion is appreciated...Welcome back."
If only Nida knew what direction Squall's thoughts were flowing in. He would of course be quick to correct his Commander's suspicions. In a way Nida had a similar history in Garden to Squall's, at least in friendships. No, his belief of Seifer remembering his face comes from one specific fact.
Nida had been the fourth SeeD to graduate in Seifer's final attempt to claw a place for himself out in the Garden. It made Nida notable in a way that would be lasting, for a while at least.
But instead Squall's thinking and brooding and then switching things around. Nida sits up straighter in the seat, his eyes widening with delight. Secret things going on? He's so tickled by that. Things, systems, machines: they always made more sense than people. Well, they at least behaved in a more easily predictable pattern than people.
At the words 'Welcome Back', Nida springs to his feet. Throws one more salute.
"Thank you, sir. I'll do this as quickly as I can. How should I inform you of when I'm done?"
Granted he figures Squall will peek his head in from time to time, but if he finishes early... Well, no doubt Squall will want to know. And then while Squall is distracted Nida can slip out and try to avoid vacation for a bit longer. At least until the fallout of all this information delivery comes out.
Having a father is surreal, but having a father who's the president of an advanced nation is another thing entirely. The technology currently powering his console is all Estharian. Its relay speeds are twice as fast than what Garden is capable of and there are plenty of satellite resources at Nida's disposal to play around with. Playing doesn't even sound like a stretch either, not with the glimmer of interest in Nida's eyes.
"I can't move on this intel until I have other things squared away. Your orders are to generate the reports, provide detailed maps of the surrounding area, and get me the most optimized routes to his last known location. Once done, remain here. We'll need to work out a suitable cover for your premature return."
Squall offers a salute of his own before turning on his heel. He hovers near the record player then ultimately decides it's in his best interest if people think the office is occupied. At the door, he pulls in another deep breath. "I'll be back in a few hours. Don't start a war before I come back."
There's nothing on the system that can do that, but he's been told to lighten up enough that he's trying to take that advice...Even if it does sound rather ominous.
"Injury?" Nida suggests, but he doubts it would work if he wasn't actually injured.
Then again, he's not really invested in the question because he's already slipping into the seat and his fingers are flying over the keyboard. Sure, he is doing to do some research to supplement, but he knew that area too well not to do most of it as something he explains from experience.
Even is already happy with the work he's doing until Squall says those last words. He shudders and looks up to Squall. Looks hurt. But not in the 'how can you think that of me' sort of way. In the 'you think I want to live in that again' way.
After all, he'd been there for the war within Garden and watched people get hurt. And he'd been there in the battle between Gardens and been put into a position where he couldn't help protect a single person.
They'll workshop alibis later, but as Nida begins his works, Squall can't help but wonder if the right person is in charge when the other SeeD looks so much more natural behind the desk than he does. It's Nida's drive that he's always admired and he's not so far removed from the minutiae of what happened during the war that he can't recognize merit or distinction and how Nida operated with both. Kadowacki is alive because of him, after all. So are many of the junior classman.
And now Nida's brought him this. He owes him more than just orders. He certainly owes him more than flippant remarks about a war they're both processing in different ways.
The room's melody urges him to keep moving. To not be stuck in the singular moment where Nida's face crumpled even though his brain is playing it on loop. If he'd been bad about being trapped in his thoughts before, it's only worsened since Time Compression.
"A meal too, I'm sure. I'll bring up both."
Squall idles for a moment, fingertips lingering on the tabletop where the record player spins, then sets his knuckles to the wood, bracing himself for the ache that always comes when vulnerability is on display. "And thank you...for bringing me this information. I'm glad it was you who found him. There's few others I would trust with his whereabouts."
The salute honors that. It's not the half measured one he'd given upon receiving Nida in the room. It's one that has him at full attention, his respect and admiration worn openly. "I'll give you the room."
Clearly Squall needs nothing so much as someone to genuinely knock him out of his funk. Because Squall really was in one. Nida, of course, was not that man. He was instead a guy there to facilitate it, in an odd way. Though he does lift his head to consider the thank you. Because he doesn't understand it.
Did he really have that much trust from Squall? Amazing.
"It was pure dumb luck, sir. Right place at the right time. Just... be careful about him. I have no clue how people out that way will regard him if they see him."
Which is also a way of saying 'be fast, who knows how much he has in the way of supplies'.
"Dumb luck doesn't mean anything if it isn't followed by good instincts," Squall remarks with a firmness that's meant to be encouragingly persuasive. Another SeeD might have tried to telegraph the information or run it up the chain of command until it finally got to Squall's desk. But Nida is here, telling him in person, because he understands the stakes and with a nod of his head, Squall acknowledges them too.
"It won't be pretty, but I don't intend to let the mobs have him." He doesn't doubt that he and Nida are aligned on that. Again, something scratches at the back of his mind, a desire to know why, but he swallows it down. All that matters is that neither of them want to see Seifer at the mercy of angry townsfolk. "I'll leave for Timber as soon as your reports are ready. You're more familiar with the terrain than I am so any recommended provisions or necessities you can think of, include them in your report. I'll do my best from there."
He's survived devastating battles while locked blade to blade with Seifer throughout the course of the war. He's endured torture at his hands. But Squall still remembers their conversations before the SeeD exam and the resigned fatalism with which Seifer had attacked President Deling with. He remembers watching Seifer talk about romance and knows that not all of the war should be put squarely on his shoulders. He'd spoken to him once about Ifrit protecting him and he can feel the heat of the GF rise up to meet Squall's desire to do the same.
It also hasn't escaped him that Ultimecia sought Seifer out at the beginning of it all. She'd come to him. It wasn't happenstance or coincidence, it was intentional, and that knowledge has vexed him since the war's end because it means that somehow, Seifer's part in the grand circular design of their destiny isn't over, but this time Squall refuses to let him meet it alone.
"Can I get you anything else?" He's at the door now, coffee and food and a million sparks from duels of old taking over his thoughts that have him looking lost in thought. It'll all be walled off behind a look of stoic determination once he leaves the room but he spares a glance to Nida and wears his concern for the matter at hand openly between them. Why bother hiding it when they both know what's at stake?
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He knows one thing though and that's that Seifer has been a constant through all of it. It makes his fingers twitch as he pulls his hand back, chasing the phantom touch. Squall hums in consideration and feels out the connection he has with Shiva. The opportunity to junction an elemental attack is there but it's something he's only ever dared to try with ice magic for the same reason he's never tried to chase Seifer's actual touch and not just its ghost. He's terrified she'll leave him. ] What's he like?
[ As far as he's been able to tell, GFs have their own preferences and personalities. Even just inquiring about Ifrit makes his chest feel like there's an icy grip on his heart but it thaws a little as he increases the percentage of fire for his elemental attack. It's a tenuous agreement, but it seems to hold. ]
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Proud. Arrogant. But below all of that, he's strong and protective. Fierce. Like he'd smash through a city to protect you. It's... nice.
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The deeper connection shouldn't be surprising, he shares his own with Shiva after all, but when it's shared, he can't help but hold onto the last part. They've been without any real parental oversight most of their lives. Protection hasn't exactly been a common theme for them and he never thought to consider that it might be something either of them could long for. Why now is he learning about these deeper parts of Seifer?
No...maybe it's not the first time but there are memories that have been lost to the fog of Shiva's touch. Have they had this conversation before? Or one similar to it?
Squall's mouth firms into a tight line before he cants his head to invite more speculation. ]
Do you think they take on parts of our personalities?
[ He sees the throughlines between Ifrit and Seifer, just like he sees them between himself and Shiva. ]
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He was sort of like that when I found him. Taunting me, annoyed that I was using Shiva against him, things like that. But I know that Shiva doesn't, and Quetzalcoatl don't get like that either. So I think it's just who he is.
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Interesting...She is, by the way. Protective. In her own way.
[ In the way Squall can count on her to fog over the memories of pain and abandonment. Or how she'll numb his wounds for him so he can push himself through injury and chase the victory that's on the other side of it. ] I think she gets jealous though.
[ A trait they share but that Squall would never own up to. That would be entirely too much to unpack and he'd first have to acknowledge the feeling in order to dissect it. ] Does Ifrit care at all if you switch between him and the others?
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[But it wasn't like he had another one other than Shiva and Quez, and since he didn't use either of them that much, well, it didn't matter to him or Ifrit. They knew where his attention would be. Where his faith laid.]
I've had him for enough years that we've adjusted to each other I think.
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A deep breath soothes the worry from him. The gentle whip of wind as they walk helps too and Squall shifts the weight of Revolver onto his shoulder, testing the mobility of the newly healed muscle. ]
More than adjusted. I can feel traces of him in your magic. Like a signature or a brand.
[ Paramagic isn't typically something they shy away from talking about–anything that can give them a leg up is often the only time Squall is a willing participant of conversation–however the way they speak about it now feels...almost intimate. A little too familiar. Squall waves it off with a flick of his wrist as if to dismiss further commentary. ]
Just something I noticed.
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But of course, he wasn't the brainiac in all of this, and didn't always ace the theory classes.]
Can't say I've noticed anything like that before. Maybe you just want to feel me close to you.
[He smirks like he's found something wonderful out there, but he knows he hasn't. Seifer wouldn't care that much.]
no subject
I hope that Esuna feels like a cold shower.
You think this might be a good time for us to wrap?
I promise it doesn't. More like ants all over your skin. At least it is for me.
The perfect place!
If he knows how to do anything, it's fight, and after the morning's duel, he's itching for a win. ]
i rarely get to take him out
Mostly it's a thing that SeeD Nida Nomura pointedly had more of remaining on his mandatory vacation. There weren't many members of SeeD, the Faculty, and the Administration staff that delayed taking their mandatory vacation time for long enough for a notification to come across the SeeD Commander's desk. Most of them had even managed to obey the first time they got called into Commander Leonhart's office and were told they needed to take a break. Apparently SeeD Nomura was better at 'forgetting' or letting something else urgent come up. Because in the year and a half since the end of what some were calling the Last Sorceress War (how presumptive), he had only just gone out to obey vacation requirements.
He'd left four days ago. He wasn't supposed to be back for almost a month because of the back vacation time.
That probably explained why after he had knocked at the door and been summoned into the office of the SeeD Commander he looked sheepish. More than that, when he came in, he was in full uniform (a no-no on vacations) and immediately saluted before standing at attention.
Clearly his arrival, abnormal as it was, was in an official capacity. And because of that, the quiet SeeD stood there, silent, waiting to be acknowledged by his superior.]
Look at himmmmm, a bebe
He's never been one to believe in Fate so it's hard to come to terms with the fact that he sealed his own the second he told Matron about SeeD. A pre-determined life that affected not just himself, but every other member of their little orphanage gang. He did this to them and it's a shameful secret he's kept lodged in the back of his throat ever since Rinoa pulled him out of Time Compression.
Sometimes he goes into cold sweats thinking he's still trapped. Experiencing his life as it would one day be but not really living it. It's a miserable form of PTSD. He would much rather flinch at fireworks than be terrified of silence.
There are records that play in his office now whenever he's alone. It helps him keep track of Time. Time, proper noun. Like it's its own entity. A phantasmal force he's haunted by. The scratch of the record player and the crooning of instruments allows him to feel the flow of time moving forward. It's rare to find him sitting in complete silence these days, but as the SeeD Commander no one gives him too much trouble about that. ]
SeeD Nida. You're in uniform.
[ His gaze cuts from the paperwork in front of him to the figure of Nida standing in his office. He keeps track of everyone's Time. It's oddly cathartic to chart progress in days and hours, weeks, and years. Nida hasn't even been gone long enough to consider the latter two. He sighs before rising from his desk and giving a half measured salute so that Nida can be at ease. ]
And on Garden property.
[ The look he fixes Nida with is a withering one. It's the look that usually has people obeying his orders the first time around. A year and a half of being a full time Commander has allowed him to settle into his position with all the grace of a jungle cat in a circus. He knows which hoops to jump through and how to avoid the whip crack, but there's still danger in the way he moves, even when doing something as innocuous as turning down a record player. ]
If I ask you why or to report in, I'll be violating your vacation ordinance so let's skip the small talk so you can volunteer that information instead.
he really is, my kiddo
Honestly, the only thing that he's really had to keep him from dodging one order he didn't want for a while was the fact that he was still a SeeD. Was still stubborn. And was an intel specialist SeeD for all that he'd ended up as the Garden's pilot. It meant he had spent a lot of time looking for loopholes in how things were worded. Including the one that brought him here despite a lot of VERY direct ordering.
Still, the careful word choice from Squall does earn a small smile from the guy. One that says he appreciates the fact that Squall saw through the angle he'd taken and found a way to counter it. A smile that says 'well played'. One that Xu, were she on friendlier terms with her SeeD Commander, would say was rarely given and she owed him a drink for managing it.]
There's a standing order, sir. One that is on the books as overriding any non-priority orders. Given where I was there was no service with the experimental Esthari Long Range Transmission Device, and sir someone needs to tell President Loire to tell his dev teams to give these things a name that isn't a mouthful, and I know there are no SeeDs currently running operations in Timber, the only option was to return in person to convey the information.
[Not, of course, that Nida should know that no SeeDs were currently deployed to Timber. It was one of those 'need to know' things on certain operations so even SeeDs in on gossip might not always know. But Nida says it with absolute certainty.
Granted, intel trained operatives could get up to foolish things when bored.
As for the 'Standing Order', there were a few of those. But only one with the parameters Nida was implying. An order regarding a certain wayward former cadet.]
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The smile almost loosens one from Squall, but he tips his head instead in a conciliatory manner. Like recognizing like. Except even after everything, Squall still isn't prone to rambling, or being a gracious listener to rambling, but Nida led with a trump card that has him going stiff. He doesn't hear half of what's being said as sound cuts out, giving way to a ringing in his ears. There hasn't been any movement on that particular standing order since he'd given it. The one that instructs anyone with intel regarding the whereabouts of former sorceress knight Seifer Almasy to report directly to him.
Just hearing it said aloud is enough to make Squall feel like the floor has dropped out from under him. It takes him a moment to recover and he catches the tail end of what else Nida has said, but can't bring himself to pry about how he has half the information he does. All that matters is the standing order.
The record player that had previously been turned down is cranked up a few decibels louder than it had been before Nida joined him. Squall's movements take him to his door next, locking it. It's only when he's standing directly in front of Nida with their eyes locked that he finally says: ]
Report.
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Honestly, they eventually needed to hire a therapist for this place, given how many SeeDs had their own special neuroses. Squall was clearly caught up in some of his own right now, but Nida was too. In fact, he was flopping down in a chair without being asked to do it and looking up at Squall.]
I'm guessing you probably don't have all the personnel files memorized. Going to skip what I can but there's some needed context, especially since our history instruction doesn't cover it. The Timber region used to have a lot of small holdings and villages near it. When Galbadia started moving on the region, most of the people living in those places withdrew to Timber in hopes of safety. Very few people moved back out to where they were from, mostly because Galbadia didn't want us out of their sight.
Some of those holdings survived, deeper in the parts of the forest that didn't get burned or otherwise damaged. When I was out hiking in the woods out there I neared one of those and heard noises. I proceeded to investigate as carefully as I could, given no one lingers out in those places anymore. Caught sight of a man from behind. Tall, blonde hair, dark blue vest accented with white around the edges. Once I determined who it was, I started back to Timber to get a train.
[There are things being left out, clearly. Details that can be supplied in a full report if Squall really wants them. Oral and written. In triplicate. By hand. Pretty please? But Nida can recognize the intensity in the other man, and he intended to answer it in the best way he could.]
I can't imagine he's out there, chopping wood, if he doesn't intend to stay. And I know I'm good enough to have gotten out of there without him noticing me. I wasn't there long enough and I am good through woods. That considered, I think he's probably looking to stay there a while.
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Maybe he'll share this trick with Nida once his head stops buzzing with all of the loaded potential his standing order possesses.
As Nida makes himself comfortable, Squall takes a moment to suck in a breath and remember the plan he promised to put in motion should information about Seifer ever make it onto his desk. The whole world wanted a scapegoat for the war once it ended. With Edea pardoned, it hardly left anyone else to blame except Seifer. That he went into hiding is shocking. Not because he thinks Seifer wants to be punished but because Seifer was never one to buck the opportunity for the spotlight.
Squall's grateful to see that's changed, just not at the expense of present circumstances. He has a plan though. He just has to focus on that and not the annoyance bubbling up in him over the fact that Seifer's idea of laying low is to do it in the most recognizable outfit after Squall's bomber. Fucking idiot. Unless...No. Squall shakes the thought. Why would Seifer want to be found?
Unless, unless, unless.
"I'll need a full report of the surrounding area and a detailed map of where he was last seen. If you tailed him, I want the route." The orders come unbidden, flowing out of him and a little too readily received if Nida's posture is anything to go off of. Squall considers him a moment, then adds, "This will remain classified for the time being. If this information gets out in any capacity, someone less talented than you in infiltration is bound to screw this up for us."
It's a compliment. Squall's still not good at giving them even after all this time being a leader, but he's learned how to dole them out when they're due.
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Or well, maybe it was there in the form of 'in a forest outside of Timber'.
"I can get you the maps you need, but I should warn you I didn't spend time tailing him. No way Seifer wouldn't have recognized me, even after all this time. Not without memory issues larger than that of an active duty SeeD."
As for the compliment, Nida manages to quash the urge to smile. Instead he manages a curt nod that is more in line with what should be expected in his position.
"Detailed maps and reports are going to take several hours. Should I just take a nearby office to get started, sir?"
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The possibility of Nida and Seifer being familiar is a question he can't bring himself to ask. It's none of his business. And yet, for a moment, Squall is silent as he looks the SeeD over, appraising him with a subtle narrowing of his eyes. If they hadn't both picked gunblades...Would Nida have been Seifer's rival instead? Was that one more thing Squall potentially got in the way of? It's hard to look at his successes now and not see the patterns of favoritism. To think he'd foolishly believed he'd earned all of his rank and title when maybe...
That's not important right now.
Squall sucks in a deep breath and shakes his head. "No. Use mine."
As Squall rounds the desk, he drops into a crouch to reach under it. There are a series of switches and plugs which he activates and engages. When he rises and offers his chair, Squall notes, "This system is officially off-network. Any reports you generate will remain sealed from all other personnel until they've been declassified."
Again, Squall draws a breath, fingers digging into the bridge of his nose before rubbing up the length of his scar. He has a few hours then. A few hours to get everything he needs sorted. Straightening, he nods down at Nida. "Your discretion is appreciated...Welcome back."
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Nida had been the fourth SeeD to graduate in Seifer's final attempt to claw a place for himself out in the Garden. It made Nida notable in a way that would be lasting, for a while at least.
But instead Squall's thinking and brooding and then switching things around. Nida sits up straighter in the seat, his eyes widening with delight. Secret things going on? He's so tickled by that. Things, systems, machines: they always made more sense than people. Well, they at least behaved in a more easily predictable pattern than people.
At the words 'Welcome Back', Nida springs to his feet. Throws one more salute.
"Thank you, sir. I'll do this as quickly as I can. How should I inform you of when I'm done?"
Granted he figures Squall will peek his head in from time to time, but if he finishes early... Well, no doubt Squall will want to know. And then while Squall is distracted Nida can slip out and try to avoid vacation for a bit longer. At least until the fallout of all this information delivery comes out.
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"I can't move on this intel until I have other things squared away. Your orders are to generate the reports, provide detailed maps of the surrounding area, and get me the most optimized routes to his last known location. Once done, remain here. We'll need to work out a suitable cover for your premature return."
Squall offers a salute of his own before turning on his heel. He hovers near the record player then ultimately decides it's in his best interest if people think the office is occupied. At the door, he pulls in another deep breath. "I'll be back in a few hours. Don't start a war before I come back."
There's nothing on the system that can do that, but he's been told to lighten up enough that he's trying to take that advice...Even if it does sound rather ominous.
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Then again, he's not really invested in the question because he's already slipping into the seat and his fingers are flying over the keyboard. Sure, he is doing to do some research to supplement, but he knew that area too well not to do most of it as something he explains from experience.
Even is already happy with the work he's doing until Squall says those last words. He shudders and looks up to Squall. Looks hurt. But not in the 'how can you think that of me' sort of way. In the 'you think I want to live in that again' way.
After all, he'd been there for the war within Garden and watched people get hurt. And he'd been there in the battle between Gardens and been put into a position where he couldn't help protect a single person.
"Coffee might be appreciated, sir."
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And now Nida's brought him this. He owes him more than just orders. He certainly owes him more than flippant remarks about a war they're both processing in different ways.
The room's melody urges him to keep moving. To not be stuck in the singular moment where Nida's face crumpled even though his brain is playing it on loop. If he'd been bad about being trapped in his thoughts before, it's only worsened since Time Compression.
"A meal too, I'm sure. I'll bring up both."
Squall idles for a moment, fingertips lingering on the tabletop where the record player spins, then sets his knuckles to the wood, bracing himself for the ache that always comes when vulnerability is on display. "And thank you...for bringing me this information. I'm glad it was you who found him. There's few others I would trust with his whereabouts."
The salute honors that. It's not the half measured one he'd given upon receiving Nida in the room. It's one that has him at full attention, his respect and admiration worn openly. "I'll give you the room."
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Did he really have that much trust from Squall? Amazing.
"It was pure dumb luck, sir. Right place at the right time. Just... be careful about him. I have no clue how people out that way will regard him if they see him."
Which is also a way of saying 'be fast, who knows how much he has in the way of supplies'.
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"It won't be pretty, but I don't intend to let the mobs have him." He doesn't doubt that he and Nida are aligned on that. Again, something scratches at the back of his mind, a desire to know why, but he swallows it down. All that matters is that neither of them want to see Seifer at the mercy of angry townsfolk. "I'll leave for Timber as soon as your reports are ready. You're more familiar with the terrain than I am so any recommended provisions or necessities you can think of, include them in your report. I'll do my best from there."
He's survived devastating battles while locked blade to blade with Seifer throughout the course of the war. He's endured torture at his hands. But Squall still remembers their conversations before the SeeD exam and the resigned fatalism with which Seifer had attacked President Deling with. He remembers watching Seifer talk about romance and knows that not all of the war should be put squarely on his shoulders. He'd spoken to him once about Ifrit protecting him and he can feel the heat of the GF rise up to meet Squall's desire to do the same.
It also hasn't escaped him that Ultimecia sought Seifer out at the beginning of it all. She'd come to him. It wasn't happenstance or coincidence, it was intentional, and that knowledge has vexed him since the war's end because it means that somehow, Seifer's part in the grand circular design of their destiny isn't over, but this time Squall refuses to let him meet it alone.
"Can I get you anything else?" He's at the door now, coffee and food and a million sparks from duels of old taking over his thoughts that have him looking lost in thought. It'll all be walled off behind a look of stoic determination once he leaves the room but he spares a glance to Nida and wears his concern for the matter at hand openly between them. Why bother hiding it when they both know what's at stake?
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