The soft huff of air might as well be an outright laugh from Squall for how rare it is. The amusement lingers, helping to lessen some of the ache in his chest that comes from not being able to promise Seifer the security he'd wanted to give him. There's a fondness however that lingers as Squall remembers the way Seifer had been there...applauding him for his ascension into SeeD...That singular gesture something that had eaten at him. He'd wanted to find Seifer that night of the ball...Instead...
He swallows down the memory of Rinoa's face hollowed out from his memory. How Seifer's had been eaten away as well. The way his feelings for them both had been warped and mutated by magic. He doesn't feel its buzz under his skin or fogging his mind. It's just the crystalline gaze of Seifer watching him and Squall watching him in turn.
"I think you would have argued with me in private, but refrained from undermining me in a room," Squall says quietly. He's thought of all the ways they could have worked together...the fantasies of sharing rank and missions and how they would be the envy of all SeeDs. They were dreams that belonged to a younger self. "I think I would default to the mission and you would default to what was right and I would inevitably come around every time. I think you've always had too much heart to be a soldier. I leaned on the memory of that more times than I can count while trying to lead."
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ninetydegrees
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on 2025-03-21 05:30 am (UTC)He swallows down the memory of Rinoa's face hollowed out from his memory. How Seifer's had been eaten away as well. The way his feelings for them both had been warped and mutated by magic. He doesn't feel its buzz under his skin or fogging his mind. It's just the crystalline gaze of Seifer watching him and Squall watching him in turn.
"I think you would have argued with me in private, but refrained from undermining me in a room," Squall says quietly. He's thought of all the ways they could have worked together...the fantasies of sharing rank and missions and how they would be the envy of all SeeDs. They were dreams that belonged to a younger self. "I think I would default to the mission and you would default to what was right and I would inevitably come around every time. I think you've always had too much heart to be a soldier. I leaned on the memory of that more times than I can count while trying to lead."